How Trauma Changed My Personality: A Poetic Reflection on Identity and Survival

Traumatic experiences – such as war-related combat, childhood abuse, or other life-threatening events – can have profound psychological and neurological effects. Research shows that trauma not only increases the risk of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and other mental health issues, but can also lead to measurable changes in personality traits, identity, and self-perception. 

This part of the article summarizes peer-reviewed findings on how trauma affects the Big Five personality traits (e.g. Neuroticism , Extraversion , Conscientiousness , etc.), as well as one’s sense of self. It also examines the underlying mechanisms, including changes in brain structures (like the amygdala and hippocampus) and stress-hormone systems (the HPA axis), and discusses whether these changes tend to be long-lasting or reversible.

Psychological studies indicate that exposure to extreme stressors can alter core personality dimensions. Longitudinal and cross-sectional research on trauma survivors (including combat veterans and victims of childhood maltreatment) has observed the following patterns of Big Five trait change:

• Increased Neuroticism (Emotional Instability): Experiencing trauma is consistently associated with higher neuroticism. For example, a longitudinal study found that individuals who had endured an “extremely horrifying or frightening” event showed significant increases in Neuroticism compared to others ( pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov ). High neuroticism (proneness to anxiety and negative mood) is both a risk factor for PTSD and a common outcome of trauma, as survivors often develop heightened anxiety, mood swings, and stress reactivity.

  
  

• Decreased Extraversion (Sociability): Trauma can lead to lower extraversion , manifesting as social withdrawal or detachment. In a study of U.S. soldiers assessed before and after a 12-month combat deployment, sociability declined significantly following deployment ( pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov ). Many combat veterans become more introverted or cautious in social settings after life-threatening experiences. Likewise, survivors of interpersonal trauma may avoid social interactions due to mistrust or emotional numbness, reflecting reduced extraversion.

  
  

• Reduced Agreeableness: Some aspects of agreeableness (such as trust and compliance) tend to decrease after trauma. In the longitudinal sample mentioned above, trauma-exposed participants showed a drop in the compliance facet of Agreeableness (indicating more antagonism or distrust) relative to non-exposed individuals ( pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov ). This makes intuitive sense: traumatized persons, especially those harmed by others, may become less trusting, more guarded, or quicker to anger, which lowers agreeableness.

  
  

• Changes in Conscientiousness: Evidence on conscientiousness (organization, responsibility) is mixed, but trauma can disrupt it. Some studies find that conscientiousness may decline or at least increase less than normal after major trauma ( osf.io osf.io ). For instance, older adults who experienced traumatic events showed smaller increases in conscientiousness over time compared to those without such events ( osf.io ). On the other hand, certain traumas (like a serious illness) might spur positive behavior changes (e.g. becoming more health-conscious), potentially boosting conscientiousness in some cases ( osf.io ). Overall, trauma often undermines one’s sense of control and order, which can reduce conscientious trait expression.

  
  

• Lower Openness to Experience: Some trauma survivors become more closed-off or rigid in their thinking. Research has found decreases in facets of Openness following traumatic events ( pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov ). In one study, those who went through extreme trauma showed reduced Openness to values (a facet of openness related to flexibility of beliefs) ( pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov ). This could reflect a defensive need for predictability and sameness after the upheaval of trauma. However, not all survivors lose openness – some may actually develop new perspectives (see Post‑Traumatic Growth below).

  
  

Importantly, these shifts are average trends ; individual responses vary. Personality traits typically are fairly stable over the lifespan, but trauma is a significant life event that can nudge traits in a negative direction ( pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov ). For example, a large epidemiological study reported that 25% of their sample experienced a traumatic event over an 8-year period, and on average they became more neurotic and less agreeable and open as a result ( pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov ). Baseline personality can also influence how one copes: a person low in neuroticism and high in extraversion prior to trauma might be more resilient and show fewer adverse changes, whereas someone initially high in neuroticism could reinforce that trait under stress ( pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov ). Still, the overall evidence supports that serious trauma often correlates with heightened emotional instability and modest declines in traits related to social engagement, trust, and flexibility.

Not all personality changes from trauma are negative. A body of literature on post-traumatic growth (PTG) suggests that some individuals report positive psychological changes after surviving trauma – such as increased appreciation of life, spiritual development, or improved interpersonal relationships. Certain pre-trauma personality traits may predispose individuals to experience PTG. For instance, a systematic review found that people who are high in Extraversion, Openness, Agreeableness, and Conscientiousness tend to report more post-traumatic growth ( researchgate.net ).

In other words, an outgoing, curious, optimistic person might, after struggling with a trauma, eventually emerge with a broadened perspective or stronger sense of purpose. These positive transformations can be seen as adaptive personality changes—trauma sometimes acts as a catalyst for personal growth, resilience, and new identity commitments. For many, this healing journey becomes a turning point—a chance to start living for themselves and to take powerful steps to reclaim their lives. However, PTG does not negate the distress of trauma; rather, it coexists as a potential silver lining. Overall, while trauma often elevates neuroticism and other vulnerabilities, some survivors show remarkable growth, highlighting the complex and individualized impact trauma has on personality.

Beyond trait ratings, trauma can disrupt one’s core identity and self-concept . Many trauma survivors describe profound changes in how they view themselves and their place in the world. In clinical accounts, individuals with PTSD often say things like “I do not know myself anymore” or “I feel dead inside,” or "I feel like I am drowning" capturing a sense that the traumatic event has fundamentally altered who they are ( pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov ). Survivors may feel a loss of their former identity, experiencing themselves as weaker, broken, or fundamentally changed by what happened. This can manifest as diminished self-esteem, chronic guilt or shame, and a feeling of being “alien” to one’s pre-trauma self.

Childhood trauma, in particular, can have far-reaching effects on self-development. When abuse or neglect occurs in early life, children often internalize negative beliefs about self-worth. Research shows that those who endure childhood maltreatment frequently develop a fragmented or negative sense of self. One study noted that adults with a history of childhood abuse were far more likely to report statements such as “I do not know who I am” or “I feel like I have stopped existing”, indicating a rudimentary or severely impaired self-concept (pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov ). In essence, trauma during formative years can derail the normal development of identity, leading to persistent feelings of emptiness or a poorly defined sense of self in adulthood. Survivors may struggle with identity diffusion, feeling as if a part of them was “lost” or “stuck” at the time of the trauma – a phenomenon sometimes seen in complex PTSD.

From a diagnostic perspective , negative self-perception is actually one criterion of PTSD. The DSM-5 includes “persistent negative beliefs and expectations about oneself” (e.g. “I am bad,” “I can’t trust anyone”) and persistent self-blame as symptoms of the disorder. Indeed, trauma can shatter fundamental assumptions and beliefs. A survivor might shift from seeing the world as safe to perceiving it as exceedingly dangerous, or from viewing themselves as competent to feeling helpless and defective. These cognitive shifts reflect how trauma reshapes one’s identity and worldview. Often, trauma survivors must reconstruct a new sense of self in the aftermath, integrating the traumatic experience into their life story in order to regain a coherent identity.

Neurological research provides insight into why the sense of self is disrupted. The default mode network (DMN) – a network of brain regions (including midline cortical areas like the medial prefrontal cortex and posterior cingulate) – is known to be active during self-referential thinking and autobiographical memory. In people with PTSD, the DMN’s normal functioning appears altered. Neuroimaging studies reveal that PTSD patients have significantly reduced resting-state connectivity in the default mode network , and the degree of DMN disruption correlates with symptom severity (pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov ). 

In other words, the neural network that helps us maintain a continuous, integrated sense of self and personal narrative is underactive or disorganized in PTSD. This might explain why traumatic memories intrude into the sense of identity – the trauma is not processed and stored as a past event, but instead remains ever-present and intertwined with the survivor’s self-image. Researchers have suggested that trauma-related alterations in the DMN mediate the feeling that “my trauma defines me” or “I am nothing but this trauma.” 

Encouragingly, some therapies (like certain forms of trauma-focused psychotherapy or emerging treatments like MDMA-assisted therapy) aim to restore normal DMN connectivity and thereby help patients reclaim a cohesive self-identity ) pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov ).

Psychological changes after trauma are underpinned by distinct physiological and neurological alterations. Decades of neuroscience research have identified a “trauma circuit” in the brain – including the amygdala, hippocampus, and prefrontal cortex – that is strongly affected by extreme stress. In fact, brain imaging studies of PTSD patients consistently implicate dysfunction in the amygdala, hippocampus, and medial prefrontal cortex (especially the anterior cingulate region)( pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov ). These regions normally work together to process fear and stress, and trauma can dysregulate their balance: the amygdala often becomes overactive, while the hippocampus and certain frontal areas become underactive or even structurally smaller.

Key neurobiological changes and mechanisms include:

• Amygdala Hyperactivity: The amygdala is the brain’s almond-shaped alarm center that triggers fear responses. In trauma survivors (particularly those with PTSD), the amygdala tends to be over-engaged. Functional MRI studies show that when PTSD patients are exposed to reminders of trauma (or even generic threats), the amygdala lights up excessively compared to controls. This aligns with symptoms of hypervigilance and exaggerated startle – essentially, the brain’s threat detector is stuck on “high.” One summary notes that people with PTSD have an overactive amygdala coupled with an underactive medial prefrontal cortex, a combination that is like “having your brain’s alarm stuck on ON while the brakes fail” ( brainline.org verywellmind.com ). The over-reactive amygdala floods the body with stress chemicals (like norepinephrine), creating persistent fear and arousal (verywellmind.com).

  
  

• Hippocampus Shrinkage and Memory Impairment: The hippocampus (located next to the amygdala) is crucial for forming and retrieving memories and for distinguishing past from present threats. Chronic traumatic stress can damage the hippocampus. Many MRI studies have found that people with long-term PTSD have a smaller hippocampal volume on average than those without PTSD ( traumaticstress.nhs.wales ). This reduction is thought to result from stress neurotoxicity: excessive cortisol and glutamate during trauma can injure hippocampal neurons and even suppress the growth of new neurons ( pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov ). As a result, memory processing is disrupted – traumatized individuals may have difficulty forming coherent memories of the event (fragmented or “flashbulb” memories) and struggle to contextualize reminders of trauma as “safe” now. A shrunken or hypoactive hippocampus contributes to symptoms like flashbacks and disorientation; the brain cannot properly differentiate between past trauma and present reality. Interestingly, the severity of hippocampal reduction is often correlated with the severity and duration of PTSD ( traumaticstress.nhs.wales ). This suggests a vicious cycle: trauma damages the hippocampus, which then impairs recovery by locking the person in a trauma-focused memory loop.

  
  

• Prefrontal Cortex (PFC) Suppression: The prefrontal cortex – particularly the medial prefrontal and orbitofrontal regions that regulate emotion and extinction of fear – shows reduced activity and even structural thinning in trauma survivors. Neuroimaging indicates that during threat processing or trauma recall, individuals with PTSD fail to adequately activate the ventromedial prefrontal cortex (vmPFC) and anterior cingulate cortex (ACC) that would normally inhibit the amygdala (verywellmind.com verywellmind.com ). In essence, the “rational brain” or executive control center is not putting the brakes on the “fear brain.” Research in trauma-exposed adults has documented volume loss in parts of the PFC as well ( traumaticstress.nhs.wales ). This PFC weakening ties directly to symptoms: without effective top-down control, fear responses run unchecked, leading to impulsivity, poor concentration, and persistent fight-or-flight reactions even in safe environments. The combination of an overactive amygdala and underactive PFC is a hallmark brain pattern in PTSD ( verywellmind.com ).

  
  

• HPA Axis Dysregulation (Stress Hormones): Trauma also triggers long-term changes in the body’s stress-response system – the hypothalamic–pituitary–adrenal (HPA) axis , which governs the release of cortisol and other stress hormones. In acute stress, the HPA axis causes a surge of cortisol, but in chronic PTSD, researchers have found a paradoxical pattern: baseline cortisol levels are often lower in people with PTSD than in those without ( psychiatrist.com ). Classic studies by Yehuda and colleagues showed that combat veterans with chronic PTSD had significantly lower cortisol (in blood and urine) than both healthy controls and trauma-exposed individuals who didn’t develop PTSD ( psychiatrist.com ). This might seem counterintuitive, but the explanation is that PTSD patients’ HPA axis has become hypersensitive to feedback. Their cells up-regulate glucocorticoid receptors, causing any cortisol to shut down further release quickly ( psychiatrist.com ). In effect, the system is so on-edge that it over-suppresses cortisol, potentially as an adaptation to repeated stress. This HPA alteration is quite different from typical chronic stress (which usually leads to high sustained cortisol); it appears unique to trauma-related disorders. The outcome of low cortisol and high norepinephrine/CRF levels is a state of heightened sympathetic arousal – consistent with the “hyperarousal” symptoms of PTSD (insomnia, startle, irritability) ( psychiatrist.com ). Dysregulated cortisol can also impair the immune system and memory consolidation, compounding the psychological effects. Trauma in early life may sensitize the HPA axis as well – studies find that adults who were abused as children show exaggerated cortisol responses to minor stress and greater risk of stress-related illness later ( pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov ).

  
  

In summary, severe trauma can rewire the brain’s fear and stress circuitry. The limbic system (amygdala-hippocampus) becomes hyperreactive and prone to perceiving threat everywhere, while the frontal lobe control systems are weakened. These neural changes underlie the personality shifts noted earlier – for instance, heightened neuroticism corresponds to an overactive amygdala/HPA axis, and reduced openness or extraversion may relate to a chronically defensive brain state avoiding stimulation. The good news is that these brain changes are not necessarily permanent; the brain retains plasticity, and with treatment and time some of these alterations can improve (discussed next).

Are trauma-induced personality and brain changes long-lasting? Research suggests that without intervention, many of these changes can persist for years, even decades. In recognition of this, the World Health Organization’s ICD-10 included a diagnosis called Enduring Personality Change After Catastrophic Experience (EPCACE), defined as a lasting personality disturbance (≥2 years) following extreme trauma ( psychiatrictimes.com ). This diagnosis (now subsumed under complex PTSD in ICD-11) underscores that personality shifts – such as persistent distrust, estrangement, or hostility – can endure well after the traumatic event , becoming a chronic part of the individual’s makeup. For example, Holocaust survivors and former prisoners of war have been documented to carry profound personality and worldview changes throughout their lives. In many cases, trauma fundamentally changes how people interact with others (e.g. permanently lower agreeableness) and how they respond to stress (e.g. heightened neuroticism or avoidance) if not addressed.

However, there is also evidence that many trauma-related changes are partly reversible. Human personality is not set in stone, and the brain can heal or compensate to some degree. Several lines of research point to the possibility of recovery:

• Therapeutic Interventions: Effective trauma-focused psychotherapy (such as cognitive-behavioral therapy or EMDR) and psychiatric treatments can help reverse certain psychological changes. As PTSD symptoms improve, one often sees gradual reductions in neuroticism (anxiety, anger) and increases in traits like agreeableness or openness to new experiences. In treatment studies, clinicians observe patients regaining trust in others, rebuilding self-esteem, and re-engaging socially – essentially moving their personality profile back toward baseline. Neurologically, successful treatment can normalize some of the brain function differences. For instance, one case study found that after a course of SSRI antidepressant treatment, a PTSD patient’s brain scans showed normalized activity in the frontal cortex and insula in response to trauma-related stimuli (areas that were underactive pre-treatment) (pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov ). Reductions in amygdala overactivity and improvements in prefrontal regulation have been noted after both psychotherapy and medication, indicating a partial “rewiring” back to a healthier state. In terms of identity, therapy often helps trauma survivors integrate their experiences, potentially restoring a more stable and positive self-concept.

  
  

• Neuroplasticity and Brain Recovery: The brain’s capacity for plasticity means that structural changes like hippocampal shrinkage might be halted or even reversed. Animal studies show that chronic stress can cause hippocampal neuron loss, but that antidepressant treatments promote neurogenesis (growth of new neurons) in the hippocampus ( pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov ). In line with this, some PTSD studies suggest that treatment and time can increase hippocampal volume. One study using real-time fMRI neurofeedback showed significant hippocampal volume increase in PTSD patients after training in emotional regulation, suggesting that stress-related atrophy can be partially reversed with targeted interventions ( sciencedirect.com ). Additionally, certain medications (like SSRIs, or experimental agents like D-cycloserine) and lifestyle factors (exercise, meditation) have been linked to normalization of HPA-axis function and brain connectivity over time. These findings highlight that the biological effects of trauma are not necessarily permanent– the brain can adapt positively, especially with support.

  
  

• Natural Recovery and Resilience: A substantial number of trauma-exposed individuals show gradual recovery in personality and outlook over the long term. Longitudinal studies indicate that while an initial personality shift is common after trauma, many people experience a leveling out as years pass. For example, a person might be much more introverted and anxious in the first year after an assault, but over the next 5–10 years, they slowly regain social confidence and emotional stability (particularly if new positive life experiences occur). Young adults who suffer childhood trauma sometimes display marked personality differences in adolescence, but supportive relationships later (friends, mentors, partners) can help them develop healthier trait levels by adulthood. This aligns with the concept of resilience – the ability to “bounce back” from adversity. Resilient individuals may consciously work to overcome negative patterns (through personal growth, therapy, or social support), thereby mitigating long-term personality change. In some cases, survivors even report a “new normal” personality that, while shaped by trauma, is stronger or wiser in certain respects than before (as in post-traumatic growth scenarios).

In conclusion, trauma changed my personality is not just a personal statement—it’s a reality backed by research into how trauma changes your personality and alters brain function. Scientific evidence shows that trauma can lead to enduring shifts in emotional regulation, behavior, and identity, reflecting the deep psychological effects of trauma on identity and personality traits. But these changes are not necessarily permanent.

The long-term impact of trauma depends on many factors: the severity and duration of the experience, whether effective support systems are in place, and how early intervention or therapy is received. With time and treatment, even deeply embedded patterns—such as those resulting from PTSD—can soften, showing us that while trauma and personality change over time, healing is possible.

As neuroscience continues to explore the complex relationship between trauma and the brain, one truth remains: the human mind is remarkably adaptable. Emotional wounds may leave lasting impressions, but they don’t have to define who we are forever. If you’ve ever wondered, “What does an emotional wound look like?” , it often shows up in the ways we think, feel, and relate to ourselves and others. But with the right tools and support, many people are able to break the mold of their trauma-driven identity and rediscover a fuller, more authentic version of themselves.

Ultimately, while trauma may alter your personality and sense of self, it does not have to be the final word in your story. With care, courage, and support, the path to recovery—and even growth—is possible.