Parenting a disabled child can bring questions that don’t fit neatly into an appointment: how to talk about disability, include everyone in family life, or make room for feelings you didn’t expect. In Ask Aimee, writer Aimee Christian responds to parents through her own experience of raising a disabled daughter.
From the archive: These columns and essays were originally published in 2020 and 2021. They reflect Aimee’s experiences at the time. URevolution’s editors have grouped them below to help you find a place to start.
After a diagnosis
Your child has just been diagnosed. Where do you start?
Aimee offers first steps for a parent trying to find support, understand disability and get through the early days after a diagnosis.
Working through your feelings about your child’s diagnosis
When the future you imagined changes, how do you make room for your own feelings without assuming your child’s life will be unhappy?
Everyday family life
When you’re running out of patience
A worn-out parent asks how to keep going on difficult days. Aimee shares what has helped in her family, including times when she hasn’t handled things well.
Making family time include everyone
An outing with her daughters becomes a story about access, siblings and the choices that can leave a disabled child out.
When “you can do anything” doesn’t help
Aimee considers the distance between encouraging a child and expecting them to overcome every limitation, even at the expense of what they want.
Language and difficult conversations
Why Aimee stopped saying “special needs”
A personal account of changing the language she used about her daughter, and what she learned by listening to disabled people.
When a friend uses ableist language
You speak up, your friend gets defensive, and now you’re wondering whether to let it go. Aimee responds to a parent facing that conversation.
Difficult decisions and uncertainty
These pieces share Aimee’s perspective on deeply personal questions. They don’t provide individual medical advice.
Living with a child’s life-limiting diagnosis
Aimee writes about uncertainty, family decisions and paying attention to her daughter’s life as it is being lived.
Thinking about prenatal genetic testing
A reader’s question prompts Aimee to reflect on testing, disability and the assumptions parents encounter when weighing a decision.
Learning from disabled people
Aimee’s selection of disabled voices on Instagram
The original 2021 list introduces writers, artists and advocates whose work Aimee wanted parents to encounter. Profile details and account activity may have changed since publication.
A related essay by Aimee
My disabled daughter isn’t your inspiration porn
In this separate essay, Aimee challenges the habit of treating a disabled child’s everyday life as a source of motivation for other people.
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