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Ask Aimee – Practical advice on parenting disabled children

Ask Aimee is a new advice column by Aimee Christian on navigating life as a parent with a disabled child. Aimee’s advice on parenting disabled children comes from the heart and is grounded in the reality of parenting. In this column Aimee answers questions from parents about raising a disabled child. 

#9 – 7 disabled people to follow on Instagram right now!

If you are looking for advice on parenting disabled children and want to learn more about disability a good place to start is by following disabled people on social media. Here is Aimee’s curated listed of seven disabled people to follow on Instagram right now! [See Aimee’s list]

#8 – When talking about disability words matter

Dear Aimee Abled-Mom of A Disabled Kid,

Because of my kid, I don’t say those words anymore. But when my friend used the r-word the other day I tried to call her out on it and she got so mad at me. She said, “You know I didn’t mean it like that, come on! Are you really trying to censor me?”

I didn’t want to get into a fight. I did know what she meant and I knew she wasn’t trying to be hurtful, so I let it go. Was I wrong? What is your advice on parenting disabled children?


Xoxo Letting It Go

[Read Aimee’s response]

#7 – Are you sad for her or are you sad for you?

Dear Aimee Abled-Mom of A Disabled Kid,

My child was recently diagnosed with a disability that’s going to make her life so difficult. I never wanted that for her. I only ever wanted things to be easy for her and for her to be happy.


Sad For Her

[Read Aimee’s response]

#6 – My kid’s behavior sucks, what do I do?

Dear Aimee Abled Mom of a Disabled Kiddo,

You seem to have this all in hand. My kid has behavior stuff and some days I just don’t have the patience to deal with her. How do you do it day in and day out? Send help!

Xoxo Worn Out

[Read Aimee’s response]


Do you want Aimee’s advice on parenting disabled children? Send her your question!


#5 What does it mean when they say my kid’s diagnosis is terminal?

Dear Aimee Abled-Mom of Disabled Kid, Real talk.

My kid’s diagnosis is a terminal one. How can I prepare for this? How can anyone?

Xoxo I’m So Scared

[Read Aimee’s response]

#4 Why inclusive play matters in my family

Dear Aimee Abled-Mom of Disabled-Kid,

I have a disabled kid and a typically developing, able-bodied kid. I work and they’re both in school and like everyone else, we have a million things going on.

Doing things with both of them slows us all down so much and tensions get high. What is you advice on parenting disabled children when you simply don’t have enough time in the day for all your kids?

Either one kid or the other gets mad, and I feel split in two. What do I do? I love both of my kids equally of course but it’s so much easier if I just go with one or the other.

My disabled kid usually wants to stay home anyway, is it okay if I leave her with a babysitter?


Split Apart

[Read Aimee’s response]

#3 She can do anything!

Dear Aimee Abled-Mom of Disabled Kid,

I always tell my kid she can do anything she can set her mind to, but this just seems to make her mad. I am trying to inspire her.

Can you help?

Inspiring Minds Wanna Know

[Read Aimee’s response]

#2 New special needs mom: where to now?

Dear Aimee Abled-Mom of Disabled Kid,

My kid was just diagnosed. It’s not fair. What have I done wrong? What do I do? I did not sign up to be a special needs mom. Might delete this post later.

But first, please send help and wine.

XOXO, New special needs mom

[Read Aimee’s response]

#1 Why I stopped calling myself a special needs parent

I am the parent of a disabled child. I am also the parent of an abled, typically developing child. I don’t always get the words right, but I try. I say disabled now instead of special needs for several reasons … [more]

About Aimee 

Aimee Christian is a current Pauline Scheer fellow at GrubStreet as a participant of the Memoir Incubator. She was a 2020 Parent-Writer fellow at the Martha’s Vineyard Institute for Creative Writing. She is also a freelance writer with publications in The New York Times, The Washington Post, Hippocampus, The Brevity Blog, Pidgeonholes, and elsewhere. She is a graduate of the Harvard Graduate School of Education. A native New Yorker, Aimee lives and writes outside of Boston with her family. You can follow Aimee on Twitter at @thewriteaimee